doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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