just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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