Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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