I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
