That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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