she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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