Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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