I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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