Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
