she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
And then he peed in my hair
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