just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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