Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
