so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
