Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
