You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
As shirtless as possible
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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