You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
