Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
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