your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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