Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
