...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
