i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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