Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
pray to the hookup gods
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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