i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
