Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
