you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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