so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
