im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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