Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
