She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
