All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
