too bad you live with your parents still
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
