Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
