Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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