are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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