I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
