You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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