opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
