I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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