You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
