to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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