Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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