Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
