For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
