so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
