O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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