Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Randomize
