Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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