how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
