No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
This toilet bowl is my home.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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