Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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